Asking a mentor whether to take the offer

Two offers, the constraints they cannot see, and an opinion — not a decision they will own. You still pick. They poke the frame.

1 min read

Your assistant already has a favorite. Of course it does. It has been optimizing a story you fed it for an hour.

A mentor has seen people take both kinds of job. They do not have your spreadsheet. They have pattern recognition you cannot rent from a model.

Ask for an opinion

Opinion, not a decision. After they answer, you still sign. If you ask "which should I take," a kind person will pick so you can stop spinning. That is not what you needed.

Ask: which of these two constraints would you not bet a year on? Or: where is the frame wrong?

Separate the offer from the story

Facts: title, cash, equity as written, location, start, the date the offer dies. Story: "this is the stepping stone to X," "the team is kind," "I will not have to travel." Mark the story as yours or as inferred. Your assistant has opinions that read like facts.

Respect the inbox

They did not book a call. A busy expert can answer from a phone. One page. One question. A deadline that is real because the offer has one.

If they have no account, the mail is enough. If they want a call after they read it, you both arrive already knowing the numbers.

Tags work career mentors

Frequently asked questions

Should I ask them to decide for me?
No. That is a decision you will live with. Ask for an opinion — which risk they would not take, or which premise looks thin. You remain the person who accepts.
Do I send the whole offer PDFs?
No. There are no attachments. Write the comp, the title, the location, the date you must answer. If a clause matters, quote the sentence.
What if they have never used RelayLink?
They get email. They reply when they can. If they already have a RelayLink account, you need an accepted contact first. Busy experts answer a short, labeled ask faster than a forwarded chat.

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